Are you spending your evenings searching online for the love of your life? Or, maybe, at least, your next “like?” You could simply be irritated with swiping right all the time for people who don’t meet your expectations. If that’s the case, it may be time for you to try prioridating.
It’s OK that chatting up the hottie with the cute smile isn’t good enough anymore. It could mean that what you want out of a relationship is shifting. You might be ready to find someone who checks your most important box. You know — that one thing that you just don’t think you can live without.
The idea of prioridating probably sounds logical. It’s basically dating with the sole intention of finding someone who means your top expectation — your first priority. The word, though, and how to do it may seem a bit new. Don’t worry. If this is a dating tactic that sounds interesting (and effective), keep reading for some things you need to know.
1. Plan for Pregnancy Protection
All right, so no matter who you’re dating, it’s a good idea to take steps to avoid pregnancy. It’s especially important if you’re trying to figure out if you want to be with someone long-term or not. Searching for options for birth control online can help you postpone going from a couple to a family.
You’ll need to think about what method will work best for you. Do you want a pill you will need to take every day? Or would you prefer a patch you switch out regularly? Whichever you choose, remember to use it correctly. When you do, these birth control options can be 99% effective.
2. Figure Out Your Priority
This may be the most difficult part of prioridating. There’s a good chance you have a lot of things that you consider to be important. Which one is your main priority, though? Do you value feeling safe above everything else? What about the thrill of adventure? Are you socially conscious? Zeroing in on what matters most may require a good deal of thought.
Invest the time to do some soul-searching so you can figure it out. Your success in building a strong relationship with another person truly starts with you. Search your memories for the moments when you were happiest. What were you doing? When do you feel content and fulfilled in life? Use those experiences to pinpoint your No. 1 priority.
3. Stick to Your Choice
Once you decide on what’s most important to you, stay with it. Make it the guiding force for the dating apps or sites you choose. Switching back and forth between priorities can make it harder for you to find the right connection. Look for potential partners who include the same priority on their profile. Be sure to bring the topic up in conversation.
The point is to embrace your choice. Focus on making it a fundamental part of who you are. Consider date ideas that give you and your potential love a chance to connect over a shared value. If you’re into the environment, suggest volunteering at a nature preserve. As a thrill-seeker, consider a high-altitude zip line. Basically, jump all in and see where your priority takes you.
4. Prepare to Open Up
The main point of prioridating is to find someone who’s most in sync with you. Bonding over a shared value like fighting climate change or social justice is just the beginning. You’ll need to open up about your thoughts and opinions on many topics. Be prepared for some in-depth conversations.
In a way, having deep talks early on is a strategy to avoid spending too much time on a match that’s more fizzle than sizzle. It’s important to be honest about what you want from dating and a relationship. Do you want kids and a nuclear family life one day? If the answer is yes, say so. Is having a partner who is committed to supporting equal rights non-negotiable? Let your date know those details up front.
5. Don’t Forget Boundaries
Finding someone with the same values can be refreshing and thrilling. You’ll probably feel more at ease and relaxed. Keep in mind, though, that sharing a significant similarity doesn’t mean things will be perfect. You’ll still need to set up boundaries for what’s acceptable and what’s not.
Maybe you both love the excitement of risk-taking adventures like bungee jumping or wave jumping in the ocean. If they mock your giddy excitement or make fun of you if you get scared, pay attention. No amount of shared interests is worth accepting behaviors that make you feel bad.
6. Expect to Keep Searching
Prioridating could put you on the right path to finding a partner that’s best suited for you. Don’t expect instant success, however. The chances of stumbling onto the love of your life immediately are pretty slim. It’s still a process that will likely take some time.
Still, once you’ve identified what is most important to you, you’ll start to find people who feel the same way. When your values, wants, and wishes align, it’s easier to start building a long-term commitment. At the very least, you could find your circle of friends begins to grow.
There’s no question about it — dating can be hard and frustrating. If you’re tired of sifting through endless dating profiles that don’t excite you, it’s time to try something new. Prioridating could be the love connection strategy you need to find a spark for a long-term relationship. Give it a try, and you may find a more fulfilling partnership around the corner.