If your flat is locked, your car is alarmed, but you feel that your life doesn’t belong to you and your personal space is constantly invaded, it’s time to protect yourself and set healthy boundaries between you and those around you.
What does it look like? For example, you go partying with your friends instead of playing at the best online casino for real money because they want you to be there. Or you give a ride to a colleague, who, having hardly sat down, starts smoking in your car.
Some refuse to set clear boundaries believing that it can offend people around them. However, sometimes setting your boundaries is the best thing you can do to improve your life. These are the areas where you should do it first.
We must be on guard over our emotional state. Don’t allow people around you to control your feelings and manipulate you. Our emotions are our responsibility. We allow the boundaries we have set to be violated when we fall for provocation and blame others for our reactions to their words and actions. A mature person would never respond with negativity to negativity, become irritated in response to passive-aggressive behavior, or shift responsibility for their well-being from themselves.
We should not waste our time on things that do not interest us, that distract us from far more important things and do not benefit or please us. We must not allow those around us to waste our time, to use it for self-serving purposes. We don’t have to forgive constant tardiness, agonizing over solving other people’s problems.
Boundaries of Standards
If we are used to living a certain way, working at a good job, getting a high salary, renting a comfortable apartment, etc. – We should not allow anyone to lower our standards. A big mistake many people make is to make sacrifices for others. They give up their needs and expectations so that the person can feel comfortable around them. We should not give up what we are used to just to gratify someone else’s ego and let someone into our life who is not going to change for us.
Personal Life Boundaries
Private life is called private because it should be kept secret from others, or at least not shared in all its details. Who we live with, who we sleep with, what problems we solve in a relationship, what happens in our family – all this should not be told to everyone. We have the right to keep this information to ourselves or tell only those close to us to the extent that we feel comfortable. It is important to make it clear that we are not going to discuss our private lives with them, even if they feel comfortable doing so.
Boundaries of Beliefs
Everyone has beliefs that we must stand up for. Even if those around us criticize us for it, condemn our views and values, or ridicule them. We should not go against ourselves because of someone or something. Our beliefs should change with new experiences, new knowledge, over time, but in no way artificially, not for fear of not pleasing someone or looking like an idiot.
Boundaries of Freedom of Action
Our freedom of action should be limited only by the law and our inner convictions. Everything else: stereotypes, opinions of others, traditions, other people’s negative experiences, etc. – should not influence our decisions. What we put our energies into, what motivates us, what inspires us, what helps us to reach our inner potential, is certainly important. And we shouldn’t give anyone the right to infringe on that.
We should prioritize our mental health. We have the right to seek support from loved ones or professional help, while being more attentive to our condition, distracting ourselves from anxious thoughts, and recognizing the symptoms of mental illness in time. It is even more important to establish psychological boundaries in communication with the people around you. If someone tries to manipulate our feelings, constantly criticizes us, interferes in our life, pressures us to make important decisions – it is necessary to limit communication with such a person.
It is necessary to respect yourself and appreciate your professional skills. We should not accept low wages if we are sure we are good at what we do, nor should we ignore insults from superiors or co-workers, tolerate rudeness, overtime without pay or lack of opportunities to develop. It is important to establish professional boundaries and make sure that no one violates them.