Till death do us part. Thousands of couples take the wedding vows in their lifetime, but how many are actually true to the promise? How many couples really stay married for life?
It is no secret that regular disagreements will happen in any marriage. However, in an unhappy marriage, the fighting tends to be much more frequent, intense, and personal. The conflict in an unhappy marriage is often characterized by fighting for its own sake. The fighting in an unhappy marriage doesn’t seem to resolve anything. It just becomes a way of life. It’s almost as if the fighting partners are always looking for something to argue about.
When the fighting is about winning, it doesn’t matter what you’re fighting about. It could be about when to take out the garbage or who forgot to do the dishes — it doesn’t matter. What matters is who wins and who loses and who “wins” gets their way, even if “winning” only means making your spouse feel bad for a few minutes or hours. It can be compared to casino NetBet odds where there is only winning and losing. It’s personal and emotional.
In an unhappy marriage, people get angry and defensive during fights — and not just because they’re disagreeing on something important, such as how you’re going to raise your kids or how you’re going to spend your money. The anger can be triggered by something that feels trivial or unimportant to outside observers — but it doesn’t feel that.
Here are some facts to consider if you are in an unhappy marriage:
- Does Your Spouse Know You are Unhappy?
They say it takes two to tango, but in most failed marriages, you’ll see one person is unhappy and the other is clueless. Let your spouse know you are dissatisfied with your marriage.
- Why are You Unhappy?
Asking the right question appears to be a skill many couples lack. Many assume their choice of words causes people to get defensive and refuse to talk about what’s on their minds. Are you an unhappy couple? Are you asking each other why you’re sad, or are you using the “Five Whys” method? Maybe your current strategy is better for historical recording data than it is for trying to figure out why one human being did something so monumentally stupid.
- Have You Tried Working on Yourself?
Marriage is long and arduous, and there will be times you feel like separating. The key to a happy marriage is for both partners to change themselves and remain optimistic and loving that good things will happen. Whenever a suddenly unhappy marriage occurs, it is good for the two partners to look at themselves, their personalities, and work on any negative issues they have ignored.
- What Do You Really Want?
Today, we can’t seem to get what we really want. Whether we try to get the perfect spouse, the ideal job, the ideal home, or all three, we end up unhappy and feeling like we lost our way. As young adults, we think: “If I get that job and that raise at work, I’ll be happy.” But wait, it isn’t enough. So, we get involved in a relationship to make us feel complete, but the same thing happens after a while. We get even more frustrated.
- How Much Longer Can You Wait?
Marriage is a beautiful thing, but not if you’re in an unhappy marriage. And the longer you stay in one, the more discouraging it becomes. How long are you willing to wait until you leave? The moment when that “I don’t love you anymore” turns into a “let’s divorce,” there comes a time when only a fool would cling to a life of misery and pain. It’s important to know what you’re waiting for and how much time it may take.
Most times, a happy marriage is not guaranteed to last. Sometimes the best decision is to end a marriage, even if it wasn’t an unhappy one. Many people stay in unhappy marriages out of fear, financial security, or for the sake of their children. But staying in an unhappy marriage can be dangerous for your health and your family’s well-being. If you’re thinking about leaving your marriage, it’s essential to carefully evaluate your situation and put together a plan for how you’ll live afterward.